Goody Two Shoes Has a Cross Cultural Marriage, Part 2
Due to popular demand following Goody Two Shoes Has a Cross-Cultural Marriage...BIG TIME, I am writing part 2, which includes three topics of horror!
Dancing At Parties, Especially Weddings
This comes as quite a shock. After the initial excitement of being invited to a wedding and feeling special, you realise you are just 1 of approximately 600-800 people. These other people can be relatives, friends, long lost neighbours, present neighbours (the whole block), everybody that the family has worked with past and present, people from other weddings you may or may not have attended, anybody you owe a favour to or want one from, and anybody who showed an interest in the nuptials.
It is expected and required you do at least one dance with the bride and groom whilst onlookers clap in a circle. This is extremely humiliating and embarrassing as you (as in me) have no idea whatsoever how to do Arabic dancing despite practicing in front of the mirror at home. Lots of people come to watch the foreigner 'having a go’ and even though you pretend not to notice people laughing by keeping a smile on your own face, your heart is really shrinking inside.
After a few of these instances I developed a good strategy: down two glasses of wine quickly, go straight to the middle of the dance floor and get it over with as quickly as possible. These days, I am getting quite apt and know exactly what is required of me (whether I do it or not is another thing)!
Lots of it all the time. Hard to understand why you need to visit people you saw last week and will see next week. When in doubt, visit people, whether immediately after an operation, child delivery, moving into a new house, death, new job, engagement, wedding, before and after a holiday, for just about anything really.
This is probably my biggest area of failure. Enough said.
Marrying The Eldest or Only Son
Try not to do this. It has repercussions beyond anything you can imagine. I did it.
If you cannot help yourself, then reassure everybody as much as possible you will not take your husband/the beloved firstborn to another country to live. If you do take him away (as if it is against his will), live with the consequences!
It is hard to imagine, but being a foreigner is a huge threat to the family and their reactions can vary. Long legs and blonde hair are only good on the family’s home turf!
Advice: Go with the flow as much as you can.