Dealing with the Guilt
Today had ups and downs.
UP – I visited friends I hadn’t seen in several months due to the fact that they do not have permission to enter Israel and I haven’t had time to go to Bethlehem.
UP – I had the opportunity to share details from my life and make plans with them to meet next month.
UP – We had a nice meal, before the hustle and bustle of Hannuka/Christmas family activities (and a friend’s wedding to boot).
UP – We spoke about dear friends we hadn’t seen, and prayed for each other and our families.
DOWN – We had scheduled to meet two weeks ago, but because they didn’t get permission to enter Israel, even though we tried every avenue we knew of, we had a meeting but without them.
DOWN – I was a bit concerned about how I would be treated leaving Bethlehem by the soldiers on duty.
DOWN – I shared some photos of the weekend meeting we had two weeks ago, the one they couldn’t join, and it was bittersweet.
DOWN – I took the bus back to Jerusalem, while they had to stay in the town – each had cars but couldn’t give me a ride because they’re not allowed to cross into Israel.
And then the guilt. As other passengers got up to leave the bus at the checkpoint, they saw my Israeli ID and told me I didn’t HAVE TO get off the bus for the check. They all had to stand by the side of the bus waiting to be checked by the soldiers on duty, but I was allowed – even required – to stay in my seat and have an Israeli soldier check my ID to enter Israel. One by one, they re-entered the bus and sat down.
We entered Jerusalem – My preferential status and I.